Friday 8 February 2013

Wedding Day

WALT choose words that describe a moment for the reader
YOUR SIGNS OF SUCCESS
~begins in the action
~present tense
~short, sharp sentences

Key words: Wedding, ring bearers , ushers

I wake up in the hotel room! I know it is the day of the wedding we’ve been waiting all week for it. Thomas and I are the ring bearers and ushers. We arrive at the church wearing our smart black suits. I feel a bit nervous. Thomas does all the talking while we give out the service sheets. In the church i hold the ring box tightly. I take off my new shoe and sock to rub my foot . Mum glares at me. I am  ready when the minister calls for the rings. I give the ring to Uncle Craig.  He is proud of us.  I look up at the roof when Craig and Ali kiss. They are so happy.

7 comments:

  1. Wow, Cameron! You really capture the special moment with short sharp sentences, strong verbs and by writing in the present tense.

    I really like the part where you take off your shoe to rub your foot and Mum glares it you!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Lucky two jobs an usher and a ring bearer

    ReplyDelete
  3. Good job Cameron it looks like you put a lot of effort in your story.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Great piece of writing Cam, very talented. It depicts the day so well. Craig and I were realy happy as you said and you were such a fantastic ring bearer. I have just got the photo album back and will have to send it up to you to have a look at. Love Aunty Ali and Uncle Craig

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hi Cam. What a neat piece of writing...I had a great picture in my head of mum glaring at you, it made me smile. You were given a very important job to do and I know mum was very proud of you. When you have a photo please bring it over to room 11. I would love to have a look. See you soon!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Mrs Miller Cam has done a great job aye

      Delete
    2. I don't now that we have a photo but aunty Ali said that she is going to send a photo album down.

      Delete

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...